Fears Feed My Dreams

I live in a very quiet little city (pop. 25,465) not  a fast living pace, just perfect, my size. I hate going to big cities , big sky scrapers that you can walk for hours beside, never seeing the sun, always shadey, always cool,  I hate big cities, they make me feel claustrophobic, uncomfortable.  I have a fear of parking garages collapsing and crushing me (way before 911) the same thing with bridges, I can’t stand looking over the edge, my mind racing…. don’t break apart until I’m on the other side! screams a voice from somewhere deep in my head!

I’m deathly afraid of deep water and drowning, yet almost all my dreams are about it, around it or near it, I also have a reoccurring dream where I’m trying to get somewhere….bus, plane, car, once it was a helicopter (I guess I had money that night!), most always I don’t have enough money for the ticket.  Sometimes I  dream I’m living in a fallen down house/shed with straw for a bed and rats running around and I have to tuck my blankets tight around me so nothing crawls in…… Oh did I tell you I’m deathly afraid of spiders? I found a huge spider under my covers once when I turned back the blankets so now I have a large body pillow at the top of the bed as a “Spider Guard” seriously! ask my hubby!

Are we suppose to dream of our spouse? oops! I’ve never dreamed about mine, is that weird?? The men in my dream are always nondescript, but they are all quite nice….and I’ll leave it at that!

My weirdest dream ever was ” a mother deer  asking me to help her get her son out of a hole in the snow, the hole was in a butter yellow framed house, all walls, no doors or windows installed almost like a Who House with no roof!  In the middle of the kitchen was the hole and poking out of the hole was a pair green and red mittens and inside the mittens was the deer’s son, it was like a cartoon! Someone explain that one to me !!

I must admit I’ve never been afraid to go to sleep, except I do remember as a kid  always running and leaping into bed because I was afraid of what was under the bed, then pivoting my body around so I could hang my head over and peak under the bed to see if was safe for later that night just in case I had to get up for a pee  !

When I think of all these fears and dreams I believe they tell of my past reincarnated lives… . A poor demonized  women (for dreaming of other men) was sent away, she was traveling and sleeping in strangers barns, never knowing if she had enough money to get to the place she didn’t know how to get to,  catching  a ride with a talking Deer  (in the snow) who was spooked by a spider and tossed into a pond and drowned,  then a building collapsed on top of her!

Am I weird or normal??  Are my dreams the thermometer of the depth of my insanity?? What do you dream about??

The End

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