Falling For 50……Literally

I’ve been 50 now for just over 2 wks., I was a lucky kid being born on  Thanksgiving Day (Canadian), turkey and all the fixn’s every birthday and one of my fav’s Pumpkin Pie, well not every time.  We once were so broke I took a pound of hamburger and molded it in the shape of a turkey, I even stuffed it!  You’d think being 50 means you live in a nice house, 2 cars, mortgage payed and maybe grand-kids and you holiday in Hawaii every winter, Ah… NOT!  We were so broke, this year we had Kraft Dinner w/hamburger,onions and frozen veg , oh and a pie I made from wormy apples that appears on one of my recent posts.  We do own a house but making the payments and trying to keep up the house then trying to buy groceries is a pretty magical feat and the pile of money to pay Paul disappears and suddenly I still have internet.  Magic!

It’s the season of Fall, I’m tired, I’m cranky, I ache all over and at the age of 50 you’d think I would know how to take a fall with all the years of drunken nights, stumbling home from all sorts of places, top it off being born into a  family of klutz’s, me the youngest, being the lest harmful to myself, well at least so far….touch wood!

One brother jumped off the balcony whilst playing Super-Man as a little kid and broke his arm, another drank a bottle of Gasoline on a dare, Super-man stumbled home drunk one night and got hit by a car luckily not being killed, years later stuck his hand under his Running Lawn mower, gee guess what happened!? My other brother got his face smashed by a big heavy chain and hook (he worked building Oil Rigs) he didn’t see it coming! He’s hit more Deer with his car then Ping Pong Balls on the old game “Pong” There could be more between those two but they live in another Province and probably wouldn’t tell me anyway.

This Fall, unlike others I was able to turn myself to the left, otherwise my head would of landed in or on a sharp planter and a cement block, my right hand took most of the impact along with my right shoulder, I think I’ve broken my pinky finger.  I yelled at my  dog for being a jerk for just sitting there at the top of the stairs looking at me as I tumbled down them.  I landed  1/3rd on the cement sidewalk, 1/3 rd on the cement – rock border that lines the shade garden and a 1/3rd in the fern’s and dirt, I think I went down left leg folded in, the boot on my bad leg ( left ) just didn’t leave the stair at the same time as my brain told it too,  it explains the 10 inch asphalt shingle (that are nailed to the stairs to provide traction on slippery days) burn’s, bruise’s and swelling of my shin.  I yelled for help but hubby didn’t hear it( he says), he heard a loud Boom (thinking it was thunder) Da.. Da.. Da.. Boom! then he said it sounded like a hollow sound like a pumpkin hitting the ground,(jerk) then silence!, hubby came running out in his underwear (it was still quite early, so give the guy a break) knowing something was wrong, so I had to lay in the ferns and spiders bawling my eye’s out until he got dressed and came to rescue me!  I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, it hurts my swollen bruised pinky to type, even worse, my pj’s are sticking to my leg and I’ve shooting pains down into my arm’s and fingers.  I know I’m going to hurt even more tomorrow, it’s the third day so I’ve taken what my hubby calls an Apartment Block which is 2 muscle relaxant’s because they look like house’s,  3 is an Apartment Complex, I’ve never gone for 4, it’s what we call a Condo in the sky! I’m also taking an extra shot of disgusting liquid meds and an ibuprofen just in case the rest don’t help.

I just feel like crying,  and I think that’s what I’ll go and do, I never knew 50 was so painful and yes I was going down hill (the stairs, all 6 of them). So excuse me, and no I didn’t just fart! I’ll save that for under the blankets!

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