The Story of Mr. Fat-Cat

Fat Cat 001

MR. FAT CAT

This is all about Mr.Fat Cat,and a wee bit about Miss Mouse, the black and white cat in the above photo’s was a cat that went through some crazy times at a crazy time of my life, he was quite a character and lived 10 great years.  You can’t see his whole belly but it’s got a perfect round black spot right in the middle, a perfectly round belly button!  Miss Mouse, she was just a sweetheart, and Fat Cat’s nemesis!

When I first got him, he was just an itty bitty fat little kitten whom I brought home just after breaking up from my 1st real boyfriend (of 4 yrs.) and moving to my own apartment, he was the new love of my life!  I chose ‘Kitty” (his original name because I couldn’t decide on what to call him), a few years had past when hubby entered my life and he started  calling Kitty “Fat Cat”  it was his new name and he actually suited it and came to it!

When I picked  him  out of his litter mates had the fullest belly of all kittens,the truth was I didn’t have a cent to my name and no food to feed him  and no litter box,  my Unemployment cheque wasn’t coming until the next day (my cheque was late) so Fat Cat and I ate plain white rice for 2 days.  He pooped & peed in my palm tree and killed it, my own fault!. He was a cuddly little bugger, came to bed with me every night and crawled under the blankets even if there was only a few inches, he made himself fit.  After he was older, if you couldn’t find him you just had to look in the bedroom for the lump under the blankets, his nose was always dirty from filtering air through the blankets( not that they weren’t clean! ).

I once had a party and invited these young pilot guys over for a drink,  Fat Cat decided to be friendly to one, this guy pulled out a lighter and set Fat Cats whiskers on fire  just to see if whiskers burned! I grabbed the guy by the scruff of his neck and yanked him to his feet and shoved him out the door, I had never been so mad in my life! Poor Fat Cat had to walk around with 1/2 a set of face whiskers for about 6 months before they grew back! Luckily he wasn’t hurt.

When Mouse came to live with usFatcat and Mouse 001 my then room-mate worked at McDonald’s and was never home, one morning Fat Cat was sniffing at my roomies door and then we heard a faint meow, Esme’ (roommate) wasn’t home and had left me a note saying she was gone to Victoria for the weekend, well after reading that note I opened her bedroom door, out tumbled  this little ball of grey fur, she was so cute! Once Esme’ got home she told me where the kitten came from. Someone at McDonald’s was taking out the trash, throwing it in the compactor as the bin was close to full, they were about to push the button on the crusher when they heard the faint meow of a kitten,  they climbed in and found ” Mouse” , so sad to think people would do that to a kitten.  When Esme’ moved out, she just up and left Mouse and her stereo, I came to the conclusion she wasn’t a very good pet parent and her Stereo was a piece of crap!

He was a cat with an Attitude and  he was the boss!, Fat Cat and Mouse had a Love/Hate relationship, he loved to push her off the balcony 2 floors up! Then when she disappeared for 2 days and I was outside calling and calling for her he was right beside me calling out for her too! I swear it sounded like he was  calling” Meeowosse” and when she did come home he walked behind her following her all over the house meowing at her and smacking her butt like he was nagging the crap out of her and spanking her at the same time ” Where the Hell have you been?? You had us so worried!”!  It was so funny to watch!

I lived in a cute little house by myself by this time, my neighbors were a cute old couple, he was about 100 and she was about 88, he fed the little birds in the area and told me he used  a sling-shot when he saw a cat that was hunting his birds. I also found out he was also an old Perve, not as cute as I thought, he would pretend to be watering his lawn out back but what he was actually doing was watching me shower! I screamed at him but all he did was laugh! I was starting to dislike this old asshole!

Fat Cat was fixed but he still got into fights, I let him out one morning in a hurry, I forgot to call him back in  and to close the window, I went to work, it was a short shift so I was back home by around 2pm. I walked into a kitchen  that screamed  Bloody Murder! Fat cat was laying in the middle of the kitchen covered in blood! He had a 1 inch gash in his side that looked suspiciously like a hole from a pellet/marble, I  was out the door to the neighbor’s, I toar up one side of him and down the other right in front of his wife, all the time he just sat looking at me with his old watery eye’s and a goofy grin on his face! I stormed out of there and grabbed my cat, wrapped him up in a towel and basically ran to the vet which my luck wasn’t more then a 15 min. run.  Turned out that Fat Cat had been in a cat fight and it was an abscess that burst, oops! I had to eat Crow……I apologized and they understood!

One night I got home from work pretty late, I had done a load of laundry and had thrown it in the dryer before going to bed, I couldn’t let it go  because the dryer’s timer was broken, it only worked when the door was closed, and if you left it closed ,it would run for days, so it was only closed when I was home and close were damp or wet, I’d have to time it and open the door for it to stop.  So, I closed the dryers door and went to sit down, I kept hearing a strange thumping noise, I figured maybe my new roommate had put a pair of sneakers in the dryer. I sat in the living room for about 1/2 hrs and the thumping just wouldn’t quit so I thought I’d better check what was making that noise, I opened the dryers door and out flew Fat Cat!! The poor cat had been sleeping in the dryer and I never thought to look to see if he was in there!!  Wholly Shit! that poor cat! I went running after him and once I caught up to him I checked him over for broken bones and eye wiggles but he was absolutely fine, just a bit shook up and a bit dizzy!

When I met hubby they took an instant liking to each other, he taught Fat Cat how to sit on his lap while he layed on the couch, it was in a way that hubby could scratch Fat Cats back and it would make Fat Cat become a valuable Stamp Licker, it was so funny to watch as his tongue went in and out , you could put anything in front of him and he would lick it!

Every once in a while (after a weekend of drinking) I’d notice that their was wet spots by the dresser, I thought to myself that it must of been Fat Cat peeing because of  jealousy, so back then they said to rub the cats nose in it, so  I did just that, thinking it would stop him from peeing all over the bedroom, well, that first time I noticed that the pee had a slight beer smell to it! Ah?? I don’t think it was Fat Cat! It wasn’t long before I caught the Guilty suspect,  Hubby was thrashing around in the closet one night thinking he was in the bathroom.  All I can say is I  apologized so much to poor Fat Cat he thought he went to heaven!! Then I gave Hubby supreme shit!! The floor was never wet again!

Fat Cat was a pretty layed back (lazy) cat once he aged, one evening I looked out the kitchen window just to check on him as he was sprawled out on the sidewalk enjoying the last of the days sun, there he was nose to nose with a huge Racoon! Now that could of spelled certain death to most cats, but not Fat Cat, he just layed back down and let the Racoon do what he wanted to in our yard and the Racoon soon tired of this weird black and white cat who didn’t give a damn that he was in his yard, so the Racoon left! Not too many  cats could say they faced a Racoon and lived to tell about it, I only regret not getting a picture of it!

Fat Cat passed away at the age of 10 from Kidney failure and it broke my heart in 2, he was just the coolest cat I have ever had, even though he had a lot of stupid things happen to him, he helped me through rough times and  I can truly say he helped me grow-up! so where ever you are Fat Cat …..I love you !!

 

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